What is the definition of Gary Medical Research?

"Gary Medical Research" is like a medical lab that's so obsessed with its work, it spends more time writing laundry lists of the latest gimmicks than actually curing diseases. Imagine if a guy named Gary spent his days debating the merits of 'Chicken Nugget Vitamins' over actual cancer treatments, while his lab's only breakthroughs were 'How to make your dog a pet' and 'The best way to prevent wrinkles by drinking coffee.'

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Edgy example sentence: "Gary's latest breakthrough? A serum that promises to 'eliminate wrinkles, coffee consumption, and the occasional heart attack in under a week.'"